Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
