I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
