can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
