Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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