Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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