Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
