she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
