There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
