After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
