i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
