If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
