You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
