ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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