She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
