I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
