I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
