I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The adults are the big ones right?
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