rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
