bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
