Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
