Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
