just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
