"it" just moved
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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