like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
