There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
