Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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