the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
