So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
