Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
