Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
