I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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