I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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