Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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