Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
