we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
