While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
