ADVERTISEMENT

• (813): View more from Florida

  I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?

  Fav 11 931 2938

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace

  Fav 21 6810 1090

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  why im i the only drunk person in the library?

  Fav 20 6313 1151

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world

  Fav 40 6024 1810

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..

  Fav 19 4855 1525

  share tweet
  

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.

  Fav 15 1725 7290

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (708): View more from Illinois

  bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.

  Fav 12 6699 1235

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice

  Fav 10 6676 2239

  share tweet
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.

  Fav 4 830 2182

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  What goes on in that head of yours?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Gay sex, for the most part. Why?

  Fav 7 2595 1138

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"

  Fav 3 1172 668

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover

  Fav 2 798 565

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.

  Fav 1 495 683

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.

  Fav 0 79 7

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?

  Fav 0 70 2

  share tweet
  

Randomize