remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
All the doctor said was why
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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