There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I will pee on everything he values.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
