your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
