I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
