you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
