So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
