where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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