It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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