Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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