I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
