but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
