i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
