Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
